Wednesday 15 July 2009

ITS NOT JUST ABOUT THE KOKO MANSION OR RITA, IT’S ABOUT COMMUNICATION.

Communication is one of the best things that has happened to mankind, so much so that in our diversity, we find unity through communication. One can only think of the days of the “Tower of Babel” and be thankful to God for the present situation. Communication entails the exchange of thoughts, messages or information etc, either through speech, signals, writing to mention but a few. However, its sole aim is to transmit information that would be understood by the parties it’s being transmitted to. The best possible way to communicate in a particular environment is to speak their language or a language that is understood by all. Today, we sell ourselves with not only what we have to offer in terms of goods and services, but more importantly how we communicate with people on what we have to offer.
Most of us have seen the Koko Mansion show, and have not hesitated to “scream” our opinions about the participants.
It’s Not Just KOKO Mansion – Think before you laugh
We all saw the Koko Mansion, and "attacked" Rita’s command of English language. Well some of us are just as bad.
I got into a silly chat exchange with a friend yesterday, I was shocked. I never would have expected that an educated and enlightened person would stoop so low.
First – The command of the lingua franca;
Second, no respect for a lady. Too bad they still breed their kind.
As I sat quietly in front of my Laptop, chatting with my friends on facebook, the next I saw on a new chat window was (see below);
Friend: Odion, you really full of it...you couldn't missive and say hi?
waooh! that is a very wired behavior indeed. 6:19pm
Me: y dint u say hi too??6:20pm
Friend: i saw you appearing and disappearing all the time on facebook site but i figure you will have a little or modicum of decency to say hi; as i was the last person to vibe with you the last time ...
don't try to be smart now...you know better. 6:28pm
Me: sincerely...I dnt know wat u r talkin abt
if u saw me on and off...nothng stpd u frm say hi 6:28pm
Friend: that is very arrogant of a language...
or a phrase my dear.
waoooh! have you been out of states lately? 6:30pm
Me: do me a favour...........get off my page...
I dnt av tym for htis
*this 6:30pm
Friend: okay, madam.
would that makes you feel good internally?
Did someone irritated you this morning ?
waooh! this behavior is out of human behavioral alignment. 6:32pm
Me: u need help
if u cnt speak correct english
dnt bother
I mean....its not sensible6:33pm
Freind: i thought your behavior was my collegial or cozial than this . 6:33pm
Me: use d normal layman english
and stop using silly bogus words dat dnt mean nothng 6:34pm
Friend: waooh! you need to start learning how to speak english language rather than talking it. 6:35pm
Friend: It will do you good in posterity than repudiating what will redeem you in time to come...
you telling to learn to speak english? i know it better than those folks that established it..
O ne gbe?
meh rhen weh jeh ze-do nor su weh.
ebo nor weh jeh zeh.. 6:37pm
Me: u av a big complex...u shld work on it. I dnt av tym to xchange words wiv smone lyk u.....really.... 6:38pm
Friend: that is what i am talking about; mother tongue you don't know and turn around, english language that is supposed to be your second language, you don't know. You are a menace to the societies you found yourself. 6:41pm
Friend: odion, you want to tell me; you don't know how to respond to your mother tongue? and here you are telling me i have complex? you are really a beast of no gender.. 6:43pm
Have a good one for the day. 6:45pm
I know you are under the influence of something at the hour and hope God rescue you out of the non-sense 6:46pm
Bye. 6:46pm
How do you think this person’s speech would sound if he were in Rita’s shoes? I’m sure we would all have our dictionaries in front of us, only to realize that its all nonsense...no meaning...
May God help us all.

Tuesday 7 July 2009

BACK TO NIGERIA

I saw myself
Twas like a dream
I was running after him and screaming
“My bag! My Bag!”
He had snatched my bag with my precious stones
I opened my mouth to scream again but I was sitting in front of him
Yes! The CEO, it was my interview...
I tried to smile but his words sent my head reeling
“Let me catch a glimpse of your chest” he says
I blinked and... Oh no! what was I doing in a gondola
I looked around and I saw masked faces.....
“We will get five hundred million for this one...”
What are they talking about? And why am I in a gondola rowing in this oil polluted river
I felt hot tears making the popular number eleven line across my face
I opened my mouth to plead but...
What? Why is everyone running? And why am I with them?
I saw them running after us with cutlasses and rifles
I doubled my speed... “This is not my dying day” I chanted..
Suddenly someone stopped me “Walahi! Yoruba or Igbo which one I be?”
Words failed me.... I saw the sword coming down on me... my scream was owlish
I braced myself for the blow....
Then I felt me moving...
“Madam your appointment is in the next twenty minutes, He-whom-you-know-his-name
Has asked for your vote and will reward you by giving you that position...”
What was I doing with escorts?
I looked out the window and saw familiar buildings
That was when it dawned on me
This was no dream
I was back to Nigeria.

Reality is a slap.
I saw them, throwing chairs and exchanging insults
They called themselves The Representatives
But I felt they should have been called The Disgrace.
I felt a tap on my shoulder...
“madam, black market dey here o”
The queue again... we queue for our pride
Yet we boast that it’s our pride
I laughed to myself – What a joke!
I stopped.
And I looked back.
If only I were not trading my vote; there might be a real leader
Fuel scarcity might be controlled
The news won’t have been fed with wrestlers in the House.
The story of tribal conflict would be less frequent
The Niger delta saga will never have come into being,
The understanding of the benefits of resource control - our guide.
If the lecherous CEO remembered his dignity,
Then we would respect our young girls in higher positions better
We won’t have graduates roaming the streets
And maybe my bag would never have been snatched
But then I would have argued, even with the dream maker that
I wasn’t in my country.
How did we get this far?
“You rub my back I rub yours” they say
The corrupt king makers producing a corrupt leader
We keep moving around in circles
Today I remove my khaki
Tomorrow I wear my agbada
I ruled for 8 years a couple of years back,
But I only stepped aside to change my khaki to agbada
Now I am ready to come back
The sit of honour has become a dancing competition
Or should I say a hand-me-down
The unending rat race
My beloved country
When will you wake up?